


Aviophobia

by galaxystiel



Series: 100 Ways To Say 'I Love You' [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Flight Attendant Castiel (Supernatural), Fluff and Angst, M/M, Married Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 19:23:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12091752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxystiel/pseuds/galaxystiel
Summary: Castiel loves to fly so much that he does it for a living. Dean is terrified of getting on a plane. When this major difference begins to affect their relationship, Dean has a difficult choice to make.





	Aviophobia

**Author's Note:**

> **#80** "Is your seatbelt on?" of [100 Ways To Say 'I Love You'](http://blueeyedangel.co.vu/100ways)

 

**Art by the amazing and talented[sketchydean](http://sketchydean.tumblr.com)**

“Hello, Dean,”

With just those words, Dean’s heart sank. It wasn’t the words themselves that brought about the melancholy feeling in his chest. No, it was the tone in which the words were said, filled with a resignation that was all too familiar at this juncture. He didn’t even need to ask why Cas was calling when he should be home within an hour or two. There was only one reason.

“Where this time?” Dean asked, wearily.

“Barbados. Until next Thursday. Dean, I’m sorry, there’s nobody else…”

“Bullshit!” Dean snapped, his temper flaring out of disappointment. “That’s a load of bull, Cas, and you know it. You’re telling me there’s not a single other flight attendant that can fly to Barbados for the next week instead of you?”

Silence. It went on so long that Dean wasn’t sure if they’d lost connection or if Castiel had hung up on him. When he spoke again, Castiel’s tone was wary, placating. “You know my job requires me to be flexible with my hours.”

Dean slumped on the couch of their suddenly stifling apartment, the heel of his free hand pressing into his eyes as if to prevent the impending migraine from a long-time argument taking hold. He felt weak, a pressure in his chest draining all of his energy. This happened so often now, Castiel hadn’t been home longer than a few days in the last three months.

“Yeah, I know. But I’m sure you can say ‘no’ occasionally. We’ve had this reservation for weeks. It’s Sam’s birthday tomorrow, and I was – _he_ was – looking forward to having a family dinner. All of us together.”

“I’m sorry. Will you pass on my regrets to Sam too? I’m sure he’ll understand. You can still go.”

Dean let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, I can still go. Are you coming back here first?”

Hope infused Castiel’s voice. “Yeah, I’ll be home in about an hour. My flight out isn’t till tomorrow morning so I’ll be back for the night if you –”

“Do you have your key?” Dean cut him off abruptly. He wasn’t giving Castiel false hope that this argument was over, or that he was intending to let this go. He was mad, he had a right to be. Castiel was choosing work over his family, over Sam. That wasn’t okay, and Dean had no intention of pretending it was.

More resignation. “Dean.”

“Cas.”

Silence.

“Yes, I have my key,” Castiel sighed, the undercurrent of misery in his voice tugging at Dean’s heartstrings. God, he just wanted Castiel here so he could hold him. Dean wavered for a second, but then held firm.

“Good. I’ll be at my mom’s.”

“Dean –”

Dean just hung up, rubbing his palms over his face, feeling the metallic scratch of his wedding ring against his face. It left a bitter taste in his mouth. He was tired of Castiel never being home. It hadn’t been like that at the start. If Dean was honest, he knew what the problem was. He just couldn’t fix it.

Castiel wanted to see the world.

He wanted to travel, to explore countless sights and landmarks and experience various cultures. He took the extra flights because he wanted to see it all.

Dean understood, but his crippling fear of flying prevented him from going with his husband.

He hated seeing the tan lines, the glow on Castiel’s face when he came home with pictures and memories that Dean would never be part of. It was driving a wedge in their relationship, and now Castiel was almost reluctant to return home at all, Dean wasn’t sure what else he could do.

With a sigh, he rose from the couch and tossed his phone aside haphazardly. Cas knew where he was if something came up.

He spent the night in his childhood bedroom, staring at the posters of muscle cars and half-naked women and thinking about how far he’d come. How he’d fought his dad for his relationship with Cas, survived his parent’s divorce and a minor reconciliation before John had passed of a heart attack. He thought about how all of Castiel’s brothers had told him he was no good, to stay away because he would only break Cas’ heart.

He’d fought through all of it.

He would have risked everything back then for Cas. So why was the thought of a flying metal deathtrap the one thing that was threatening their happiness?

Bitter thoughts of a failing marriage kept Dean awake all night. At around 4am, he gave up on sleeping entirely and quietly padded to the kitchen to make some coffee. He’d just poured himself a cup when Mary walked into the kitchen.

“Pour me one of those?”

Dean did so. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he sighed, settling down at the table and nudging Mary’s cup towards her.

Mary smiled wryly, pulling her thick robe tighter around herself to combat the early-morning chill as she sat down opposite. “You think I can sleep when my son is in pain?”

Dean just stared into the dark liquid for a long time, biting his lip. “I don’t know what to do, mom,” he whispered eventually.

“Yes, you do, honey. You just have to be brave.”

Could he do it? Was he brave enough to get himself onto an airplane to save his marriage? Picturing a life without his husband almost made Dean double over in pain, so he already had his answer. Of course he could. It wouldn’t be easy, but that nausea and fear would fade. He’d recover. Getting over the love of his life wouldn’t be so easy to bounce back from. Dean rose, kissing his mom on the top of her head.

“Thanks, mom,” he breathed, hurrying to get his keys. He’d need to hurry if he was going to pack and get to the airport in time to catch the flight.

Dean barely remembered the drive to the airport. The packed bag in the back of the Impala made everything more real and the nerves were beginning to overtake him. Most of the journey was made on autopilot, and Dean was glad there was very little traffic or he probably would have caused an accident.

The fear kicked in full-force when he finally boarded the plane with unsteady legs. Looking around he caught a glimpse of his husband’s dark hair, but Castiel was gone before Dean could call out. Dismayed, because a little support would have been appreciated, Dean showed his boarding pass to the blonde flight attendant that was currently smiling expectantly at him.

He took his seat, trying to calm himself down and ignore his clammy skin and sweaty palms. The flight was by no means full, the seat next to him thankfully remaining free once everyone was on board. At least he’d have to deal with one less passenger staring at him when he inevitably passed out.

Dean hung on quite well until the engines started. Even the stewardess going through the safety procedure wasn’t too much for him to handle. But the rattling vibrations of the engines in the cabin had Dean white-knuckling the armrests, his face pale and drawn as he hummed ‘Some Kind of Monster’ to calm himself down.

When the flight attendant who had gone through the safety procedures came to check on his seatbelt, she stopped dead with a look of alarm.

“Sir? Are you alright?”

“I- I’m scared of flying,” Dean ground out, fingers biting into the armrest. “Please, is Castiel available for just a moment? He’s my husband…” He trailed off weakly, a sheepish expression on his face. God, he was pathetic.

The flight attendant looked uncertain, but gave a cautious nod. “Oh, he didn’t mention you’d be travelling with us. I’ll see if he’s free.”

A few moments passed in a haze and Dean could feel the attention he was getting, could sense the eyes of the surrounding passengers on him, but it all faded away as familiar hands grasped his own. He looked up, gratefully, finding comfort and support in the blue eyes he’d grown to know so well.

“Dean? What are you doing here?”

“I…” Dean trailed off as he realised he hadn’t prepared an answer. He’d been focusing on getting himself this far. “I’m here for _you_.”

There was a lot more he wanted to say, but they were already getting a lot of attention, so Dean closed his mouth and just shrugged one shoulder awkwardly. From the softening of Castiel’s expression and the crinkles around his eyes, he seemed to understand.

“I’m glad.” Castiel released his hands and began dabbing at Dean’s sweat-slick brow with a handkerchief. “I hated the way we left things. Being away from you for so long would be torture.”

Dean managed a small smile. “I don’t know if I can do this, Cas. I’m freaking out and we’re still on the damn ground.”

He closed his eyes and accepted the kiss to his forehead as Castiel leaned forward. “You can do this. You’ve made it this far, this was the hard part.” He hesitated and then Dean felt a hand cupping his cheek, his eyes opening at the tender touch. “I won’t blame you if can’t. We can still let you off if you don’t think you can manage the take-off.”

Cas was right, he’d made it this far. What would be the point if he got off the plane now? He’d have wasted the money he’d bought on the ticket, wasted everyone’s time. He’d be letting himself and Castiel down. Besides, Castiel did this all the time and the whole point was to experience the things his husband loved. Flying was just one more thing to add to the list.

“I can do it,” Dean straightened up, with a resigned nod. “I have to do it. We’re gonna enjoy our vacation together.”

Pulling back, Castiel looked at Dean with fondness and pride. “Good,” he murmured softly. “Is your seatbelt on?”

Dean nodded, leaning back to show Castiel the fastened belt and trying his best to relax. “You should go back to work, I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

Castiel eyed him for a long moment and then nodded. “I’ll be right here next to you for take-off, okay? I’ll be back before you know it. Just take deep breaths.”

Dean nodded again, relaxing his grip on the arm rest slightly. The weight in his chest felt lighter now, the knowledge that Castiel would always be there for him bringing clarity as it pushed away the fog in his head. So when his husband joined him again and buckled himself into the next seat, Dean reached out and clasped his hand tightly, not out of fear, but out of love.

He could do this. For Castiel.

**Author's Note:**

> [MY TUMBLR](http://blueeyedangel.co.vu)


End file.
